alphabetical order is truly the marker of an advanced civilization. . . you may think it's sliced bread, toe nail polish, or bio-diesel -- but those things get you nowhere in a line of 400 people. no, being an Agnor does! i must pause and recognize that the alphabet is an organizational jewel -- the one thing that is working out for me here. the Warman's would be in the back of the bus, sad to say. most of my new friends are A's and B's, we in the first 2 letters of the alphabet have to stick together in the 1st platoon. that's right - 1st! it's better to be first.... that's what I repeat to myself during the PT run, but somehow, it doesn't make my legs move any faster.
anyway, I'll be going out to the field next Monday for field exercises, and yesterday, all 400 of us had to stand in line to get our TA-50 gear (which apparently was issued during the Vietnam War, too - my roomie assures me the mustard gas has been washed out by now). being an A was a big payoff, as we were in line first, and got 3 hours of free time when everyone else was still standing in line. Hahaha! that evil laugh goes out to my roomie, who's at the end of the alphabet. I'm slightly terrified to go out in the field. I'm trying not be too girlie and have been trying to talk myself into just rolling with it... one shower every 5 or 7 days, 105 degree weather + humidity, tramping around in the Texan wilderness-- it's just not my usual cup 'o tea. BUT I do get to complete weapons certification with an M-16 and pistol (yee-haw!) and learn some combatives stuff - there are several people I would like to throw down at this point. I have been encouraged by those in leadership positions to sneak in contraband, like my cell phone and "pogey bag" (munchies - you all know I must have my snacks), and I am taking their advice to heart. maybe the food will soothe me while i lay awake at night, vigilantly guarding my tasty toes from the predatory brown recluse spiders (eeeee!!). I'd rather deal with the rattlers and scorpions, any day. as long as i go into it thinking "this will be just like the worst camping trip you've ever been on," i'll be fine. how's that for a reframe, my therapist friends?
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I could actually help you out in the shower department. I know people who have not taken a shower for months, and it's surprising that they don't smell as bad as you might think. After the initial bad smell, it doesn't get that much worse, just settles in to a mellower bad smell. I knew a man who had not taken a shower for over 20 years, and while he did die, last week actually, (not from being dirty), his body smell could be covered up by burning a little bit of incense every once in awhile, which we in fact did. This was always complaint driven, and it was surprising how few complaints we received. Now that he is gone (may he rest in peace) I'm not sure what we should do with the incense, maybe we should send it on to you?
love, Aunt Patty
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