funny how living in a tent with 40 other women, eating shelf stable food for 2 weeks, walking everywhere with at least 25 lbs of gear, and being continuously assaulted by voices over the loud speaker instructing me to go places and do things i don't really want to do can make a girl like me appreciate solitude, weightlessness, quiet, running water, mattresses - freedom!
i've been home from the field for a few days, and am just now feeling like my normal self. it isn't the deprivation of what i consider the basics of living (hygiene, non-processed food, my own pajamas) that was getting to me out there. i mean, that stuff sucks, but my bag of candy and canteen showers helped me cope. the mental stress of having absolutely every action dictated started to effect me. camp bullis is it's own little world. ten acres of insulation from the outside world. i have realized i have a problem with people telling what to do, which is a problem if you are in the army! maybe my rebelliousness is good, a little bit of my personality that rises up every once in awhile. yes, the smart comments coming from the 5th squad in the back of the platoon are coming from Agnor.
i'm about to head back out tomorrow morning (3 am), and am feeling a bit low about it. Only 4 more days, though, which is absolutely more do-able than the last run. we'll be focusing on setting up aid stations and rehearsing how the treatment process works in Iraq. these are things i may need to know in the future. psychologists are part of the teams who respond -- mostly for brain injuries and combat trauma.
i have a strategy for the week - no MRE's! they totally toxify your body! I'm bringing Luna bars as part of my new weight loss plan - the camp bullis diet. it's a combo of carrying around a growth of gear, sweating like a whore in church on easter (got that one from my good friend from Charleston, SC), doing PT/Combatives in the morning, and feeling nauseous from the stink of the port-a-potties.
I've posted some pics this time - don't laugh too hard at the sight of my new outfit! thanks for everyone's encouraging comments, i feel the support.
